Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions – waking up, checking your inbox, diving into back-to-back meetings and collapsing into bed, only to do it all over again the next day? As a leader, you’re constantly pushing forward, but somewhere along the way, you might have stopped steering the direction of your life with purpose.
I know that feeling. We don’t always realize we’re drifting until we look up and suddenly feel lost. I learned this lesson quite literally, one evening while on the ocean with my husband. We live in the Pacific Northwest of the United States, and we love taking our kayak out on the water.
If something isn’t working, that’s when you adjust.
One night, the sky was painted in pinks and purples as the sun dipped toward the horizon, and we thought, ‘What a perfect night for a sunset cruise.’ We paddled out, life jackets on, just soaking in the moment.
We stopped paying attention. The tide had shifted and before we knew it, we had drifted far from shore, right into a thoroughfare where cruise ships and tankers pass by. My little kayak against a 14-story cruise ship? Not where I wanted to be. Not where I planned to be.
Thankfully, we got ourselves safely back to shore, our arms sore from paddling. But that moment made me realize just how quickly this can happen.
Finding your way back
It’s easy to get caught up in our professional and personal demands. I’ve seen this not only in the leaders I work with, but also in my own life. I founded Management Services Northwest in my living room with just a handful of employees, and over time, it grew into a regional facility management company.
But there was a moment, years into scaling the business, when I realized I was no longer in the driver’s seat – instead, my company was steering me. Just like on that kayak, I had to recognize how far off course I had gone and take action to regain control.
Instead of following the traditional path to success, I redefined it, building a framework centered on purpose and aligned with my core values.
That wake-up call pushed me to take a hard look at my life, my values and what truly mattered most. Instead of following the traditional path to success, I redefined it, building a framework centered on purpose and aligned with my core values.
By fostering a caring culture within my team, we grew the company sustainably, allowing me to raise my three daughters while scaling the business into a multi-state industry leader with over 500 employees.
How to actively steer you life
The truth is that much of our behavior is guided by unconscious patterns. Sigmund Freud’s model of the unconscious mind suggests that our daily actions are driven more by habit than by active decision-making. Routines are powerful – they allow us to function efficiently – but if left unchecked, they can cause us to steer further and further from our goals.
Think of it like flying a plane. A pilot who is off course by just one degree may not notice the mistake at first. And yet, with only one degree difference, for every 97 kilometers they fly, they will miss their target by 1.6 kilometers. The same goes for life – if we aren’t intentional, we can wake up one day far from where we hoped to be.
The same goes for life – if we aren’t intentional, we can wake up one day far from where we hoped to be.
So how do we stop drifting? How do we make sure that we’re not just going through the motions but actively steering our lives in the direction we want? Here’s where to start.
1. Identify the drift: Before you can change direction, you must recognize where you’ve lost your way. Maybe it’s in your business, where the passion you once had has faded into routine. Maybe it’s in your relationships, where conversations feel transactional rather than meaningful.
To break free from automatic living, you must be willing to stop and assess your life with complete honesty. Ask yourself: Am I actively choosing this path or have I simply ended up here?
2. Get clear on your purpose and values: Drifting happens when we lose sight of what truly matters. The world will gladly set your priorities for you if you don’t take ownership of them yourself. Clarity is power. When you know what you stand for, every decision becomes easier.
If family is your top priority, then saying no to unnecessary work commitments is no longer a struggle but a necessity. If growth is your driving force, then investing in your own learning isn’t a luxury but a responsibility.
3. Set intentional goals: Life on autopilot is all about movement without direction. If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up wherever the current takes you. Setting clear goals is about reclaiming agency over your future.
But instead of just thinking, ‘I need to be a better leader’, define exactly what that means. Are you working too much in the business and not on it? Then commit to stepping out of daily operations at least one day a week to focus on strategy.
4. Create systems of intentionality: Great leaders create environments that make success inevitable. Without the right systems in place, even the best of intentions fade into old habits.
When I coach leaders, I often see them struggle not because they lack motivation, but because they haven’t built the processes to sustain their success. For example, a leader who wants to be more strategic but doesn’t carve out protected time for big-picture thinking will always be pulled into daily firefighting.
5. Regularly course-correct: Just like a pilot constantly checks their flight path to make sure they reach their destination, you need to check in on your goals. Set aside time, whether it’s weekly, monthly or quarterly, to step back and assess your progress.
Are your priorities still aligned with your values and vision? Is your business growing in the way you intended, or has it taken a turn based on external pressures? If something isn’t working, that’s when you adjust.
Living intentionally isn’t about changing your life overnight but about making small, deliberate choices that move you closer to the leader and person you want to be. It takes 21 days to form a habit and 90 to make it permanent. Over the next few months, commit to just one area of your life where you’ve been drifting and make the change you need to get back on track.
